Intimate partner violence hurts everyone – There is no excuse for abuse.
You can get help. You may feel alone and trapped, with no way out. But there is help. There are choices. These are suggestions that you can do NOW to better your situation and make the choice that is best for you and your children:
Call the Women’s Shelter Program at (805) 781-6400. You can talk to a trained crisis counselor about: what you are going through, making a plan to get away from your violent partner, confidential safe houses, and services for men and women trying to change their lives for the better.
Ask for an Emergency Protective Order (EPO). An EPO can be issued by the police 24 hours a day. This order serves as immediate protection from the batterer. It provides a “kick out” order so that the batterer must move from the residence. Temporary custody of the children is given to the person to be protected by the order. It restrains the batterer from harassing or assaulting the victim. If the batterer violates this order, the batterer will be arrested. It is imperative that you call the police every time the EPO is violated. This order is good for five court days, which allows you time to file a request for a Temporary Restraining Order.
Call 911. If you think you are in danger, don’t wait. Have a code word or signal for your neighbors. That way they will know when to call the police for you. Show your children how to call 911. Make a plan with them so they will understand how and when to call.
Get legal help. You can get a restraining order. The Women’s Shelter Program offers a Temporary Restraining Order clinic, which helps you file the paperwork for a Temporary Restraining Order. This legal document orders your violent partner to stay away from you. You can also get advice about child custody and other family law matters.
Safety Plans
One thing that you can do right now is make a safety plan. We understand that it is very difficult to leave a violent partner. A safety plan will help you to organize what you and your children will need for your escape. Even if you think the abuse won’t happen again, plan ahead where to go and how to get there.
Call the Women’s Shelter Program at (805) 781-6400 or HOTLINE at 1-800-549-8989 for help with making your plan.
Tell someone you trust about the violence.
Pack a bag with clothes for yourself and your children, your important papers (birth and shot records, photos, ID card, etc.), an extra set of keys to the car and house, a cell phone, and familiarize yourself with local Safe Place locations in the area.
Store the bag at a friend or neighbor’s house. Or find a place in your home to store the bag where your partner will not find it.
Save a little money if you can. Establish checking and savings accounts in your name only.
Don’t tell your partner about your plan.
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