THE ADVENTURE
One of my biggest accomplishments in life was the birth of my children. I spent 75 days in a hospital while pregnant in hopes to have a successful delivery. My pregnancy was high risk from the beginning, and halfway through my pregnancy my twin girls got eager to enter this world. The hospital became temporary housing to keep the babies and me safe. I remained strong and calm. I stayed positive and kept the babies healthy and in my belly for 10 weeks so that they could be a part of my life. After 75 days of not knowing what may happen next, my beautiful girls arrived healthy and strong.
Eight years later, I had my second biggest accomplishment. My girls and I, again, were at risk and had to get out of a bad situation. We fled our home and suddenly we were back to finding temporary housing, but for different reasons. I again had to stay strong, calm, and positive for my two beautiful girls. We lived day by day again not knowing what might happen next. We managed to stay in safe places whether it was a dear friend’s floor, couch, trailer, or converted garage. We stayed in a hotel for a couple of nights, with the help of the Women’s Shelter. During our stay in the hotel I had to divert my thoughts and the girls’ thoughts elsewhere, so we went swimming, hiking, and exploring. That next week, my beloved girls wrote a paper for school about one day that weekend and called it “The Greatest Day Ever.”
We may not have had a place to call home, but during our long transition period the girls thought we were on an “adventure.” Little did they know that I was constantly hiding my fears (and tears) regarding their own father. During our “sleepovers” and “campouts” we made many new friends and the girls even mentioned how big of a family we suddenly had. They still discuss the adventure, and how they love all their moms, dads, brothers, and sisters.
Although I want to put all this behind me, I am thrilled that they felt so safe and comfortable during such a devastating period.
Some of the most supportive relationships that have kept me strong and have helped me get through this “adventure” are my friends and “family” that I found at the Women’s Shelter of San Luis Obispo. The amount of support and encouragement that they have given me has motivated me to want to do the same for others. Not only do I want to “pay them back” for all their love, support and understanding, I want to be in the position to make a positive difference in someone’s life.
My values have changed because of the hardships involving domestic violence and divorce. I learned the hard way, after getting into major debt with attorneys who were not looking out for my best interest or my children. I had no choice but to proceed on my own. I represented myself in court against a “ruthless” attorney (and husband) regarding domestic violence and the divorce. It was a rough time; however, because of this experience I now have a strong motivation to empower victims of domestic violence and help them get through the system to “start over.” If I can just help one person avoid some of the mistakes (from fear) that I made during those trying times, I will be overjoyed.
The issue of domestic violence is a rising problem in our country and although I can not change the court system on such matters, I want to help others get through it as painless as possible. Some of my goals I believe to be a little difficult and demanding, but I know if I apply myself and stick with it, I will persevere, just like getting through the “nightmare” recently passed. My goal is to establish a new fulfilling career and continue to build a better life for my children. My girls and I will remain strong no matter what challenges lie ahead and I will teach my girls how to stand up for what is “right.” I will focus on keeping my girls in a positive environment and raise them to be the best that they can be, and also do the same for those victims in need of the same.
To reach my goals, I am currently attending University of Phoenix. I am striving to continue making sure my children are happy by devoting plenty of time to them during my hectic schedule with work, school, and daily events. To be readily available for the girls, I currently have two part-time jobs that give me some flexibility and the opportunity to work at home when necessary. The girls receive little financial support from their father and I can not afford childcare. To support the girls and myself, I must continue to work a minimum 30-hour week and continue with my school classes (online) in the evening after the girls have gone to bed. Upon receiving my associate of art’s degree in April 2011 I will intend to take the Women’s Shelter Hotline class, and continue to volunteer my time with such a wonderful program.
My biggest value is my family and the drive to make a better life for my children and set a good example. Someday they may look at this scenario and know the truth, but for now I am proud of our “adventure.”
Sincerely,
Brenda B.
(former WSP Client)
Loading ...
